at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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