i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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