I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
that's an acceptable place to lick
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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