she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize