Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
