I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
