You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I love you. Go after that dick
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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