she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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