Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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