just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
