RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
