so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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