Umm I'm too high to move.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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