So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
