She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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