im about as happy as oj after his trial
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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