you guys were way drunker than both of me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
