There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize