I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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