She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
And then he peed in my hair
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