I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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