the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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