Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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