After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
