Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
