im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
