Don't you send me to vm
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
