You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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