He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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