She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
