fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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