Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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