Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
