oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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