sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
