dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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