"it" just moved
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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