Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i think my cat just said my name.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
