i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
