i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
