At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
