it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
