Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize