I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
