dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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