Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"it" just moved
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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