Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
