i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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