Screwed.edu
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm both gender and math confused
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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