I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
