So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
