They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
