you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize