we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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