So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize