Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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