I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
