idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
