So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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