...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My dick has a subreddit
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize