i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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