so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This beer is not sobering me up at all
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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